I don't want to be perfect, i just want to be

ugg, i suck. 259.2, staring at me in the little scale screen. even after two rounds of laxies in as many days in a last ditch effort to rid my self of the evidence of my lack of self-control. i fell of the wagon. i broke my rule about laxie use during the school week. i almost shit myself(sorry, TMI)during an assembly. (2 hours long and the worst pain of my life) i ate, a lot, and then refused to get off my ass. i will do better, this cannot be permitted to continue. I must be better. Better. Better. Better. Better. Better. Better. it will define me. Better. BEST.

going for training this weekend for my job. i get 100 bucks for it so I'm pleased. I'll be surrounded by fried greasy food, FUCK ME. hopefully I'll have the common sense to grab a few boxes of cereal from the continental breakfast at the hotel and just eat those.

I've been reading a book called "Beauty Queens" by Libba Bray. I'M IN LOVE WITH IT.(it's basically the literary version of my brain and thought process, it's truly amazing) if you enjoy sarcasm and sardonic/ironic portrayal of today's society i sincerely recommend it. it's hilarious.

after this post i think i'm gonna disappear for a while so i can focus on losing some actual pound-age.

I LOVE YOU GUYS for all your amazing comments on my last post. i'll respond later, i promise.

HERE'S THINSPO: Black and white, my favorite.











































Love and i hope to have good news soon,
Elle