i'm back...

hey babies,

got back at 8 pm on friday. went to bed and got up to perform in the local parade today (saturday). good news: i have a lot of new muscle and worked out like crazy all last week. Bad news: i weigh 263.4 when i came home and will be weighing myself later tomorrow (sunday) to figure out if it was just bloat or muscle weight. i think and feel skinnier. i think i'm less rotund. which is good i guess. if i can find the measuring tape i'll do my measurements. i'm considering whether i should change my UGW to a more reasonable 130. i guess i'll just stop when i feel like it. we'll see.

senior year of high school starts in 9 days. how crazy is this. here comes the real challange, being tiny for college.

i'm actually tan for once in my life. i like it. i look better.

Band camp was crazy hard. i am so sore it literally hurts to walk, talk, sit, just breath. and i had a few sob-ey, pity party moments. but i feel better being back home.

can't wait to catch up on all of your blogs, guys.
Love from here to where you are,
Elle

BAND CAMP TOMORROW!!

hey peoples,

well starting tomorrow i'll be gone for 6 days. it's gonna be really weird. but it sounds like it'll be a lot of fun.

i have a few snacks, mostly good for you stuff like fiber bars and peanuts for protein. and some bad ones, like Doritos and gummy bears, but i'll be sparing.

i'm gonna miss you all while i'm gone. you all give me such hope that i can be what i want to be. i love you guys.

it's gonna be an insanely hard week, lots of hard work and long days, but it'll be worth it.

Comments on Comments:
Jenn: INDIA. i cannot express how much i am enamoured with India. i love every aspect of their culture and history. it's so beautiful.

Dotty: thanks for the pick-me-up. i'm trying to believe in myself more and be more confident. it's a harder exercise than a million sit-ups.

americaneagle: hey babe. I know. all asian people are so pretty. they have amazing bone structure.

LOVE for you all,
i'll see you in 6 days or so.
Elle

FINISHED!!!

[seriously, i want to look like her when i dress crazy instead of looking homeless :( ]

hey babes, (this is a long one, that's what she said)

here's that proper post i was talking about.

so, to start. let's just say that weight is fucking sucking and that i'm hoping and praying that i can get it off in time for graduation in May/June of 2012. cause otherwise, guess who's going to fat camp, yeah, i'm that fucking determined. hopefully school will help me deal with weight gain. i'm about 159.blah right now or some equivalent. meaning that in a perfect world i could be 250 for school and 220 by christmas at least. hopefully. please god, if you exist or are just feeling merciful, it's all i ask, smite me as you will, just make me tiny.

ok, no more praying to a god i don't even have feelings for.

on to my asian theme. I LOVE ASIAN CULTURE. i particularly like Indian culture. the colors, henna, bollywood, saris, destitute, former princes who rescue wayward girls and sudenny come into thousands of hundreds of dollars, i love it.

i also get a kick out of Japanese culture, shrines, buddah, watrefalls, lights of tokyo, it's pretty great too, but my love is for india.

honestly, how did these girls get so damn pretty, what was it about their blood that gave them that beautiful colorings. *jealousy monster ATTACK!!!*

anywho, i recently started looking around youtube and such and hav found the culture of J-pop/K-pop. I've watched some of Girls Generation/SNSD (anyone who knows could you clarify their actual name for me, i'm having trouble understanding the 2 names) and i LOVE Yui, her voice is so melodic and soothing and soulful. It's like hearing all my emotions.

most of what i know is from animes, so i like abington Boys school, ON/OFF, that stuffs. i'm open to any sugestions! i mostly like acoustic/indie/alternative music but i also go for techno and upbeat rock stuff. currently i'm constantly replaying I Am The Best by 2NE1. it sounds like asian ke$ha without the auto-tune. so good.(be bum ratatata tatata)

yeah,so i haven't slept yet and i have a busy day and i'm at the point where i', so tired i get dizzy. all i've had is tea so far, so i might be hungry but i'm getting weighted today and i don't need extra lbs.

Comments on Comments:
AB: on both of your comments, well first, i'm quite new to the K-pop/J-pop scene. it's all really new and exciting for me. and i am really excited about band camp b/c i love summer camps like this, any chace to be outta this house for extended periods of time is ok with me. thanks for the comments babe. stay strong! (^.-)/ *supposed to be a waving person (>.<)*

Leto: Hey, some of it could have also been period weight, i didn't get until that night so, bleh. but i'm off now and back to alright-ish weight. i'm gonna keep plugging away at it. yeah, band camp is supposed to be riddled with junk foods so i'll just bring my good for me foods and stay away from carbs and nasties like that. thanks for commenting!!

Samzi: hiya, yeah i have friends at band camp who will make sure i eat at least 3 meals a day so i'm in no danger of being sick. hopefully i'll burn crazy cals like you said cause i could use it if you know what i mean.

LOVE YOU ALL BABES,
Elle

k here's a crap ton of asian thinspo. hope you love it like me (^.^)

PAPER!!!! @.@

PAPER DUE IN Tminus: 15 HOURS. STILL NEED TO FINISH. BLARG!!!!!!

*sorry, i'll properly post when i don't have a due date hanging over me. thanks for the comments from last post, i'll reply when i next post*

(hint: it'll be an asian themed post b/c i LOVE j-pop/k-pop. seriously, look up Yui, she makes me so happy/nostalgic/sad/F-ing inspired.)

LOVE, GOTTA GET BACK,
Elle

what have i got to loose?? only weight.

hi girls,

when i weighted myself this morning scale said 261, and i almost cried.

i worked out for 40 minutes yesterday: 540 cal burned. so why did i gain??? i can't even understand right now.

today is 2 hours of Flag and Band practice: 943 calories burned
so far i've eaten 490 calories. and that will be all. no more.

i'm probably going to do the ABC diet for as long as i can.starting today. i have Band Camp the 14th-19th and they will make you eat. the 17th is a scheduled fast but i will try to eat only fruits and other neg cal options. i have no idea what kind of food will be there, so we will see.

Losertown says i should be in the 220's. how amazing would that be.

Comments on comments:
AB: hello love, i am so inspired by your comment. i hadn't shed that light on my weightloss and putting it in that context is helping me alot. thank you much lovely. you have helped me.

i love you all, kisses and hugs,
Elle

Thinspo:





and just because we need to giggle now and then: