and the life came crashing down...

well hello again my little petits,

1)i have my period, 2 weeks late but better now than never
2)i have been eating like i'm in need of another layer of fat (SOOO NOT THE CASE)
3)and i have a summer job that is gonna be so F-ING amazing if i can keep my hands off the fried shit.

well, 1 is self explainatotry. 2 requires that i tell you guys i have discovered that i use the multiple layers of fat on my body as a physical barrier between me and the nasty, awful, hurtful world. and i wanna take my fat coat off. now it's a matter of convincing myself that i will in fact be able to deal with the words of hateful people without the extra 160 lbs. and that leads me to 3, my dad has started a blanket selling business.(they're really veryy comfy, they're faux mink and SOOO soft) well this summer he wants me and one of my friends to travel through Ohio, Michigan and Indiana to fairs to sell these blankets. now, such freedom would allow me to not eat for long periods of time and also allow me to make money. downfall is the multitudes of fried food surrounding me.

i'll say more when i'm off the rag,
Elle

reality is the new denial...

hey babes,

well, i'd tell you my latest weight but then i'd have to shoot myself. let's just say it was bad enought to fuel a laxie heavy night for me. meh, i still feel my insides rumbling about.

i feel sick and nasty and oh so disgusting. i'm gonna try for a 2 day fast next week. i'm also going to do a liquid fast the first full week in April (4th-10th).i'm starting to plan out my summer. i wanna be about 165 by school starting next year.

i was cleaning my room last night (it needed it...bad.) if i can find the cord to my mom's camera i'll upload those pics of me w/ my kitten hat and the Black Butler shirts (which fit but are tres tight) and maybe some of my room. that damn cord!!!

well, while cleaning i found my food journal from july when i kinda started this thing and i was eating like below 700 cals a day. i was so good. i really can't believe it. i need to get back to that place.

i'm not eating for the rest of the day. and then my fast begins monday through wednesday. and then just keep it low till April. i really would like to be 255 by april, but we'll see.

LOVEEEEEEEEE!!!!
Elle

*RUNS AND GIVES HUMUNGOUS HUGS!!!!*

babes, i'm back, or i will be in a little while. we're doing our last play production today at 2.(BTW:thanks cinn for the love, play's going pretty well but it's still a High School play >.<)

good news: i'm down to 260.4 lbs. and all next week i get to sleep in 2 hours b/c the school is testing sophmores and i passed the OGT's (ohio grad. test). and i'm missing most of school monday b/c of a field trip:)

i miss yah'll sooooooo much, and OMFG i have 70 fucking followers. what is this??!! thank you guys and i'll try to be on some more soon.

LOVE TO THE MOON AND STARS!!!
Elle

*sound of dumptruck unloading mass amounts of responsibilty on my head*

hey loves,

welllll, as stated above i officially have NO time...ever. after this upcomming weekend i'll be free-er. my school's play opens this upcomming weekend so all my afterschool and night time is devoted to rehersals and set construction. i have homework on top of that and then normal necessities (sleep, eat...yuck let's just say, and whatever else i can do). Along with TAB and chores, i'm swamped.

ok, so with the SGD i'm on day 7, so far i've cheated a bit, quite a bit actually, but haven't had a day above 1200. tomarrow is day 8.

i'll ttyl (no time for words anymore @.@)
Elle