well girls, it's been a while since i talked.
i'm working out like 2 hours a day, 4 days a week but i'm not loosing weight. hopefully i'm just building muscle. i'm eating like maybe 1000 cals/day. i've stayed constantly at 258.blah for the last week. this is pissing me off. i'm gonna try to keep my cal intakes lower and eat only liquids for a while to see if i can kick start some kind of loss.
i feel fat and stupid and ugly. this sucks. Somebody should have told me before i got fat that eating that crap would lead to this. fuck those yummy shity things. Some damn motercycles that were racing over at the race-track near my home woke me up at 8:30 this morning. i got to bed at 2 am, so i'm a bitchy bitch today. R is being a Dick, and cussing me out because i won't do everything that he asks me to do.RAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWWWRRRRRRRRRRR. i just need to escape this fucking town, find my center. get to college and never eat again. be lovely, make boys want me and girls jealous of my body and personality.
haven't eaten in almost 12 hours, i'm really getting kind of bitchy. sorry loves, but i won't whine to you anymore. you guys get to deal with enough of my whining already.
LOVE and HUGGS and KISSES,
Elle
Thinspo: this is Laetitia Casta, she's the only 5'7 model i could find.in theory i could loke remotely like her. if you have any more 5'7 models i could lookup i would LOVE them. leave suggestions in the comments.
This is very messed up, but there was a period in my life when I wished I could gain a lot of weight, just to see how much I could lose and how fast. At that time, losing 12lbs a week wasn't enough for me, wasn't challenging enough. I wanted to shatter my records. Then I realized there are girls out there who wish they could be in my place, and I stopped wanting that.
ReplyDeleteBut just know -- any weight lost is a success. Think of all the pain you've felt, and that some of the burden is now gone because you've shed some weight. And keep thinking that: don't gain back the pain. xo